Oprah's Pinch
By the time I went to Oprah’s 2020 Vision event in St. Paul, I had been meditating for at least 5 minutes a day for 10 days in row because that is my 365 (366 for Leap Year) for 2020. I often heard that the benefits of mediation were immediate but I wasn’t expecting it to be truly… immediate. The Oprah event exceeded all of my expectations because: 1. I didn’t have any expectations except to see her live on stage and 2. meditating cleared up some junk just in time to see this show. My mind was so open that it soaked up every morsel of wisdom that Oprah had to offer.
I won’t spoil it for those who plan to go to one of her events this year but I will share that she told us why her show was successful for 25 years. It wasn’t a secret but I am pretty sure I wasn’t the only one in the audience who needed it spelled out. Thank you for the thoughtful pinch Oprah! Even if I knew what the magic was back in the day, I don’t think I would have appreciated it as much as I did on Saturday, January 11, 2020.
My mom was happy to be there.
The plan was to go to Oprah’s event to: 1. fulfill one of my mom’s biggest wishes to see Oprah in person and 2. gather info for my vision board because the timing was perfect - the event was on Vision Board Day. Unfortunately, the concept of the event was lost on my mom because it’s not her jam but she smiled a lot and was glad she went. As for the vision board, well this is one of those, “Be Careful What You Ask For” stories. Although I came home with more wisdom and inspiration, my vision became so clear that it hurt. Even the Vikings losing the playoff game (the same day of the Oprah event) was not as painful as figuring out what was standing in my way.
It seems ironic that yours truly is someone who doesn’t have much compassion but it is my BIGGEST hurdle. It is the reason I’ve pumped the breaks on spreading the word about the Thoughtful Pinch App. It’s time for me to stop sucking at being compassionate. I’ve been aware for years that I lacked compassion and I finally figured out why this is happening. Compassion doesn’t come easy for me because I stack my days so full of things to do that it doesn’t leave me any time to feel anything. I can give out thoughtful pinches all day long to people who don’t expect anything from me, but my family, the ones who should have a thoughtful mom or wife, was being let down daily.
For me, I thought compassion meant speaking my truth and being authentic; not fake. I thought compassion meant preventatively bringing up difficult topics that everyone else avoided in hopes for a peaceful outcome. I thought compassion meant bending over backwards to make life easier for others. But all of that runs parallel not congruent with compassion. When I figured that out, I realized that my expectations of the closest people in my life was just too grand for anyone to expect. They were supposed to know that my heart was always in the right place even though the tone in my voice lacked compassion. How can I sound compassionate if I speak very business-like, usually in very short, direct commands without eye contact? I am always too busy to stop what I’m doing so it’s impossible to sound thoughtful. There is so much more to this and I promise it will bubble up in another post.
Once I figured out why I wasn’t compassionate, I had to come up with a plan. My 2020 vision will consist of making a lot of space for my hub, my daughter and my son. Plus, I added a whole bunch of tools that will help me “fix” my compassion problem. My goals, at this point, seemed very crowded already. I decided to go with the saying, “Less is more.” This was the hardest part of whole vision board process: I reflected on the people in my life and decided that less, in this case, means there’s no space for those who need to be convinced that my heart is ALWAYS in the right place. For those who assume the worst in me - sorry, there is no vacancy. And I also don’t have the capacity for those who want to leave when the going gets rough. In other words, PEACE OUT. This left space for my other goals.
As basic as goals or a vision board may seem, this year, 2020, is very different. Not only is it a new decade but a friend told me, metaphorically speaking, that all of the seeds we have been planting for years are going to sprout like crazy during this particular year. That could be good, bad or both. Each Tuesday for almost 5 years, I have been “planting seeds” about thoughtfulness. I am hoping 2020 is the year that Thoughtful Pinch blooms into a full grown household name.
So grateful for this book because it made me think. Even though it wasn’t easy, my vision is much clearer today! Thank you Oprah!
Oh I wish we could go over every detail of Oprah’s 2020 event. I was able to witness first hand, that when she gives out pinches, she puts a lot of thought into the gesture. Oprah is a thoughtful pincher!
Pinches,
Barb