Since it was just Halloween yesterday, I had been seeing the word BOO everywhere for a month. Boo was a nickname that people used to call their boyfriend or girlfriend back in the 1990’s. In fact, Ghost Town DJ’s (a perfect Halloween-themed band name for this holiday) had a hit song titled, “My Boo” and still to this day, I can’t help but dance whenever I hear it. After that song came out, I would sign all my notes to my then boyfriend now hub, “Love - Your Boo”. 

Nicknames are such wonderful thoughtful pinches.  If you’re 100% Filipino there is a 100% chance you have a nickname. When I was a baby, my mom so desperately wanted people to call me Bobbie - not sure why but it didn’t stick. The nickname is on all my photos when I was a baby and my mom had the individual letters of B,o,b,b,i,e made of gold formed into a bracelet. But no one calls me that. Growing up, I was a real girlie girl until I was about six years old when we moved to Maryland to be near my cousin Jay-Jay (which is a nickname for Katherine Jane).  Overnight I became a total tom boy- refusing to wear a dress for years. Whenever someone tried to call me Barbie I would kick them in the shins. Flash forward to 2003 when I got married and I wanted so desperately to have people call me Barbie. Today, there are only about three people who call me Barbie - my nephews Eli and Robbie and my family friend Bong (yes, that is a very common Filipino nickname that has absolutely NOTHING to do with pot).  Bong’s real name is Eugene. 

It’s worth noting that three of the limited amount of words that my son could say between ages one and two years old were Bella and Brett Farve. But suddenly at age two, he declared that Bella was no longer his sister’s name; she was to be called Bubby. There was no explanation, no rhyme or reason - just Bubby. To this day that is what I call my daughter. She may not think of this as a thoughtful pinch but it is. To have a name given to you that has no rhyme or reason is as Filipino as it gets. So when her brother gave her that nickname, he gave her a part of her history. 

Continuing stories about my Filipino cousins, my cousin Katherine Jane, has been called Jay-Jay her whole life. To start calling her Katherine now after all these years is just weird. To further explain, it would feel like I was trying to be Caucasian and calling Jay-Jay “Katherine” would be as if I was trying to make her Caucasian too. Similarly, my cousin Maria has been referred to as Ria since we were in high school. But even now, I just cannot honor that nickname because to me she is Honey-o which is again, a nickname that she has had her whole life. My other Pellicer cousins are: Patricia is Pachie, Rochelle is Cherry Pie, Pablo is Cholo, Raymond is Sonny Boy, Stephen is Doobie (no relation to pot), Manuel is Bud (again no relevance to pot) and Pamela is Pinky.  This is just how it is. And I LOVE it. Nicknames like these have warmth, deep roots and are spoken with cherished closeness every time we refer to them as such.  

I have the same feelings about the grandparent nicknames. I have heard so many different endearing titles for grandparents and I just love them all. To me, it’s such a badge of honor to be a grandparent and to have a nickname is just a well-earned privilege. Like Lola, which is the Tagalog version of the term or title for grandmother. On my hub’s side, only a handful of grandkids call my mother-in-law a nickname but the rest call her by her first name. I feel that it’s a missed opportunity but she’s perfectly fine with it. In fact, she prefers it and that is all that matters. 

On our Paton family group text chat when we refer to our family members as: Bo-Bo, Gracie-Girl, Big E!, JP, Dan the Man, Jackie P, Frankers, Roberto, G$ - it’s something we relish and I think it strengthens the family bond. Speaking of family, when my brother and I were growing up, I am six years older, so most of the time I was his babysitter. Because his eye lashes were so long (still are!), he had a lot of hair (still has!) and he always had such a big smile (still does!) people assumed he was a girl. That would piss me off, especially because I was such a tom boy at that time. So his nickname until he was in college was Tommy Boy. Yes, he had his nickname many years BEFORE the same name movie with Chris Farley came out. Proof? Because my brother was born in 1975. To this day, our cousins still call him Tommy Boy. 

When I was in college, I hung out with Moose. No one called him by his first name which is Glenn. Moose’s sister came to visit him once and he introduced her as Goo. I didn’t even know her first name until we moved to Minneapolis in 2007. Moose wanted me to meet up with his sister Laura who I only knew as Goo. I didn’t meet up with her until years later. Our paths crossed because our girls had ballet together. She found me in the hallway of the ballet studio and reintroduced herself as Laura. For weeks and weeks I could never say her name because I forgot what her real name was and wanted to call her Goo. But she is a very reserved, proper woman and I knew that would not be cool. Finally I told Moose that I felt bad because whenever I saw Goo, I couldn’t remember her real name. He laughed and told me that I could call her Goo. I finally confessed to Goo and she smiled. She preferred Laura and from then on, I remembered her name. BTW, I still hang out with Moose and if you only knew how far up the ranks he is in his career and the seriousness of his job, you would know that when we call him Moose we mean it in the most grounding and most endearing way. 

I can fully understand that a lot of people detest their childhood nickname. They hate it because it brings back a time in their lives that they would rather forget or the person that they were back when they received the nickname is NOT the person who they are today. I can also understand not appreciating being called by a nickname if the nickname is degrading, mean-spirited or offensive. Like Fat Albert, Smelly Kelly or Bellhead. Yes, Bellhead was a nickname my cousin Junior gave me when I lived with his family for half of my 5th grade year. He might still call me that but since I haven’t seen him for over 35 years, I wouldn’t know. Truth be told, a non-appropriate nickname that I would call my daughter, besides Bubby when she was a toddler was Booger because she constantly had boogers in her nose and let’s face it, she acted like a booger. I think my daughter appreciates, like Laura with the nickname Goo, that Booger was dropped from my lexicon of nicknames.

Some people prefer their nickname rather than their given name. My friend Jay Glazer hated his given name Jason because when he was younger in school they had not yet diagnosed him with his learning differences and so he didn’t feel smart. Whenever the teachers would tell him that he was wrong, they would use his given name and it made him cringe. He shortened his name when he was older and has always been called Jay ever since. My name Barbara, means strange and that isn’t a great trait wouldn’t you agree? But the fact that my dad had naming rights and named me after a famous singer at the time (not Barbra Steisand - see the spelling) I have always felt this bond to my name. When the hub and I met for the first time in Vegas and we said our names, we both felt like our names were so old fashioned. Now, try going to any high school, middle school or lower school in both the US and the UK and try to find a grade without a kid named George in it. The very old fashioned name made a come back partially thanks to Prince William. But Barbara is not likely to make a come back. Although the family that bought our house in MN gave Barbara as a middle name to their daughter after they moved in. Hmmmm. LOL. 

I love nicknames and I love to hear and learn the stories behind the nickname. I love hearing who gave the name to them. I love learning why the name was given. I love knowing how long name has stuck. To me, with nicknames there is sort of a history, there are roots that ground them and to some degree there is a little mystery when someone has another identity that only a specific group know about. I consider a nickname a gift that contains of all of these positive components. And because it is a gift, I don’t think it’s a stretch to consider a nickname as another form of thoughtfulness.

Pinches,

Barb