Short + Sweet Visits

I have felt so honored whenever someone texts or calls me to let me know they are visiting Colorado and they’re thinking of me. Reaching out to me is a thoughtful pinch that I cherish endlessly. Just this past week I was able to see a few out-of-towners, a relative who lives here in Denver and I have another visitor coming up this week. The visits have been short and sweet and still a joy.

The first of my visits this week was with the now former Artistic Director and Founder of Youth Performance Company, Jacie Knight (see photo above). For decades, Jacie was committed to develop young leaders in the community while providing warm, maternal nurturing via high-quality theatre experiences. Her genuine care for the youth was so apparent that I “drank the Kool-Aid” just by hearing her speak about the theatre at an informal gathering to recruit board members. That night, I remember driving home so pissed at myself for going to that casual event because I couldn’t un-hear her plea for help. At that point in my life, I didn’t have the time or the mental capacity to be a board member for an organization that neither of my kids even belonged to. But a turn of events happened soon after I heard Jacie’s request for board members. A young gal (fourteen years old) who lived on my side of town, committed suicide, leaving behind a note that said, “No one ever listened to me.” It shook me to my core because she was popular, she was very well-liked and she seemed so happy. I thought, if this gal had an outlet to be heard, maybe she’d still be with us. Theater kids are different and thank God they are! In fact, one of the benefits of theater is the confidence it builds and how the confidence can bridge gaps in every day life. There have been some amazing leaders that have come out of this tiny but mighty children’s theater under Jacie’s guidance. I knew there was a need for this company in our community and that is how I ended up on the board with her and YPC. Less than a year into my role as a board member, Jacie asked me to chair it. I was like, “WHAT?” I had never been on a board before and I was completely honored but very scared to say yes. I am so glad I accepted the responsibility. But then we moved to Denver. Waaaah. Jacie retired in July 2022 from YPC after 30+ years and so this week she came with her son for a little time away in Colorado. I met up with her for coffee and we talked for hours. I am really glad she thought of me when she planned her trip because it was great to see her and catch up. The last time I saw her in person was pre-Covid so giving her a real-life hug was such a bucket filler.

A few days later, my next visit was short, sweet and I hope, very routine. My hub’s aunt Dianne lives in Englewood, CO which is near to us. I try to see her weekly but that isn’t always the case. Dianne lives in a rehabilitation center and she is not able to get outdoors much. Yesterday I dropped off supplies and tried to catch up as much as I could in between hockey tryouts drop off and pick up. I promised to be better about the visits. I am trying to come up with a weekly routine so I can visit with her regularly. I always feel both glad that I got some time with her but also pretty sad that she is there alone.

After visiting with Dianne, I picked up my son from the hockey tryouts, I rushed him home, ordered DoorDash for his lunch and headed to LoHi to meet for the first time, Bill and Rachel, who are are friends of my cousin Honey-o. We had a lovely lunch at a Mediterranean restaurant only blocks away from the location of the restaurant that Bill will be opening soon. I was honored that when Bill was making arrangements to move his son into his school in Boulder, that he thought of me. It all worked out nicely. Bill was not only moving his son out here from Connecticut but he was also eating at many of the best restaurants in town. With Bill and Rachel here to taste test these places as research, I feel like benefit for sure. They found some gems and I am adding their recommendations to my list of restaurants to try. I must say, moving here from MN where there are so many really great restaurants, I was bummed at the lack of quality food Denver had to offer. But now I have faith that there are plenty of places to choose from. During our lunch, the three of us FaceTimed with Honey-o who wasn’t even home in CT, she was in Atlanta. She was happy to see the three of us connecting. It was a bonus to hear from Bill that he is a huge football fan (Dallas Cowboys). My plan and goal is to get some football peeps at his new restaurant when it opens out here in June 2023.

I was so full from lunch with Bill and Rachel, maybe a little tipsy from the spritz and just tired in general that I took a 2.5 hour nap. Naturally, I sprung up (I’m being sarcastic) afterwards and began preparing for dinner. I was super excited to be interrupted because my bestie from Minneapolis reached out like she planned to do for weeks. Reena came to Denver for a relative’s wedding. The only hitch was that she, her hub and her daughter were flying in on Sunday, arriving in the afternoon, heading to the two o’clock wedding and then leaving at 530am on Monday. The plan was for me to come see Reena when she had a break during the wedding. But unfortunately, her daughter developed a rash and so their time was cut even shorter. The wedding venue was only eleven minutes away from my house - so I snuck over for a couple of giant hugs with Reena. It was a short but very sweet reunion. She had carried a purse stuffed with a thoughtful pinch for my birthday because she was determined to hand deliver it to me. Reena thought maybe I would open the gift in front of her but then she laughed when I wouldn’t. I always wait til my actual birthday to open any of my gifts. This was no exception. So we just got to see each other for a little under 15 minutes and I thought it was special. What an honor to be thought of so much that she would hand carry a large gift for me from MN, on the plane and bring it to the wedding. She and her family stayed at the hotel connected to DIA and woke up at 4am to head back home to MN. To think that I was a part of that very short trip, makes me feel super special.

Visits can be a little hectic planning, maybe even a little obligatory as well. Like, we know someone lives in an area where we are going and we don’t want to visit without seeing them. But we are also thoughtful in knowing that everyone is busy. Maybe telling someone that we’ll be in the area can create feelings of obligation for both parties involved; especially if we’re not very close to them or related. I am trying to be better about letting someone know that I am thinking of them during my travel, regardless if I have any time to see them when we visit. I am learning this from my bestie Klaudette. Whenever she flies thru Denver she has no time or intention to see me but she texts me and it’s the thought that makes me feel so good. Who doesn’t want to be thought of? If there is guilt or pressure to see people while you are visiting just know this: letting someone know we’re thinking of them but not having time to spend with them is much better than going to their area and hoping they don’t find out that we were there. I also thinking forcing a square peg into a round hole is counter-productive. If time is so tight that it’s a lot of work to see each other, let it go. Have low expectations so that if it works out, then it’s icing on the cake. Too much forcing makes for a strained visit.

In 2019, at my 50th birthday from left to right: My bestie Klaudette who is teaching me to reach out when traveling, me, Mark Martucci and his wife, my favorite boss EVER, Debbie Lieberman. Only Mark comes to visit us because Deb doesn’t like traveling to cold states - she’s a Southern Cal gal. LOL.

In a few days I will meet up with Mark who is coming from Hermosa Beach. I haven’t seen him since my 50th birthday party in So Cal and I cannot wait to hug him. Years before Covid, Mark had a major, life-threatening health scare that forced him to stay close to home for years while he fully recovered. Mark was a traveling salesman and whenever he came to MN, he paid us a visit. He always showed up with thoughtful pinches for the entire family. It will be good to catch up and get the scoop on his beautiful family. Again, I feel so blessed to be part of his trip out to Colorado this week.

I don’t think people expect visits but I do think it raises one’s spirits to be thought of when someone comes to their hometown. Calling someone is plenty thoughtful and texts are just as sweet. Keep that in mind the next time flying under the radar is part of your travel plans.

Pinches,

Barb