Three Wishes
I’m currently on a “Mother/Daughter NY City” trip and of course going to church on Sunday was part of the itinerary. I am so glad that my daughter didn’t fight me on this event. I think years of my efforts are beginning to pay off.
I wrote a post entitled Church and today’s post goes into further detail about the “three wishes” theory. I mentioned that when I was younger, my mom told my brother and I that if we went to mass at a church that we have never been to, we were able to make three wishes. I am not sure if this is something my mom made up to get us excited about going to mass whenever we traveled or if this is really something many Catholics do. I should probably look into this concept and cross check the source but a part of me doesn’t want to find out that we are the only ones making three wishes. I have passed this tradition along to my kids because I’m someone who thinks anytime we have an opportunity to make a wish, it’s a good thing. I don’t see any down side for wishing so we will continue this tradition whenever we visit a new church like St. Patrick’s Cathedral in Manhattan, NY.
In this post, there are two parts to my thoughts about wishes. The first part is very personal because it shares my wishes and the second part is also personal but is more like personal advice on making wishes. Not that I have authority on wish making but I felt like sharing my thoughts on this stuff.
Part 1.
I’m going to be totally vulnerable here by sharing what I wish for. I know, I know - wishes are supposed to be secrets. People always warn us that if say what we wish for out loud our wishes won’t come true. But as a Catholic, we’re not supposed to be superstitious so I’ve recently had a mind shift about keeping my wishes a secret. We all wish for things and when we wish, I think it’s more like a prayer. I acknowledge that God is the one granting our wishes not a fairy or a genie in a bottle. Why not wish out loud? Or as I like to say, “Put it out into the universe”. So here it goes, here are my current three wishes:
My first wish is for my family to be here for one another no matter what - growing closer every day.
My second wish is that when I leave this earth, I will leave behind a positive contribution to society that will be remembered for years to come.
My third wish is that I always find the blessings in every thing; knowing that there is a reason for why things didn’t work out and that my faith will keep me from doubting that there is blessing attached.
These three wishes are not easy to to measure because they are intangible. I figure that if I had the opportunity to ask God for 3 things I want to make sure they are what I really want because when the wishes come true - I need to have the capacity to handle them. It has taken years for these three wishes to be my top wishes. Of course I have other wishes and I daydream about lots of stuff that I wish for; I am human. But after realizing that my wishes have been coming true, I decided that I better get “serious” about the whimsical act of wishing.
It’s funny because now, even though I am able to have fight-free Sundays when we have to find a new church while traveling, my son doesn’t make three wishes any more. He shared with me that none of his wishes have ever come true so he doesn’t bother. I told him that he needs to pay attention because he may have missed it. Let’s say that he wished for an Xbox and he didn’t get it for Christmas or his bday. Does that mean his wish didn’t come true? Well what if 1 year later he gets the Xbox for no special occasion - did the wish come true? I told him not to put a time limit on our wishes because that’s putting God in a position of being “On Demand” and that’s not cool. Having this conversation with my son led me to think about sharing my thoughts on how to wish.
Part 2.
Wishing for things like - let me be rich, let me lose weight and let me be famous are all legit wishes. But maybe we can look at wishes differently. Like I said, I’m no expert on making wishes but I’m an over-thinker and so if I’m going to wish, I want to make sure I’m setting myself up for success. Ok, let’s break it down.
Let me be rich:
Most people ask for this and there is no shame in admitting that. However, we should be specific.
There are many ways to be rich. As my daughter’s fortune cookie fortune says, a selection of food can make someone rich.
So if your wish (prayer) is for you to have a great job that pays well, maybe throw in the phrase, “that I love”. This way, when the wish comes true, you will be happier making more money. There are plenty of people who have great paying jobs but hate what they do and it’s a daily battle to go to work.
Here is “Let me be rich” rephrased: My wish is for me to have a great job that I love and pays me well.
For me, this wish used to be a frequent wish but others wishes have crept to the top of the priorities.
Let me lose weight:
I have made this wish so many times over the 35 years of going to new churches. I think I was 15 years old when I realized that I wasn’t thin. I always thought my life would be so much better if I was skinny. But almost 4 years ago I started intermittent fasting so I haven’t had to make this wish anymore. Maybe it’s because a few years ago I rephrased my wish (prayer) to lose weight so that I can be healthy enough to live a long life. Then as the weight was maintaining and not coming back on, my “Let me lose weight” wish was rephrased to: My wish is for me to remember that my body is a gift and I wish to learn how my body works in order for me to live a healthier lifestyle. When I am healthy, I can focus on loving my family.
For me, this wish has come true.
Let me be famous:
I have to admit - when I first started my blog, one of my wishes whenever I went to mass at a new church was the “I wish I was famous” wish. Cringey now that I look back 7 yrs ago. Then when the first launch of my app did a belly flop I thought - well that wish definitely didn’t come true. And guess what. Thank God it didn’t! If the app had taken off at that exact moment, I’m not sure we could’ve pulled off this transition for the hub’s job with the Broncos. The kids would be parentless and that wouldn’t be good for our family. Of course I was heart broken that my app didn’t take off but now, looking back, I am so grateful that life is happening this way. Impatient as I may be to share the Thoughtful Pinch app with the country, my wish of having a close family would not stand a chance of coming true. In addition, I have discovered within the last two years that being famous could have more cons than pros. I am very fine that this wish didn’t come true in the way that I originally wished for. For the rephrase of “Let me be famous” please refer to my #2 wish: To leave behind a positive contribution to society that will be remembered for years to come. Wishing this is a different kind of famous and one that I believe is more appropriate for what I want to accomplish in my lifetime.
For me, if I play my cards right, being famous when I’m not on earth anymore means my wish came true.
Let us win the Super Bowl:
I’m going to add another example - wishing to win the Super Bowl. That’s a totally legit wish. But if, “this year” is added to the wish - I wish we win the Super Bowl this year - that is just setting ourselves up for disappointment if it doesn’t happen this year. And what about the other team? Are their wishes less meaningful if I wish to win and our team won? Putting a big wish like out to the universe never hurts anyone but would you agree that winning the Super Bowl any year would be a great thing? We have to keep an open mind when we wish, especially for things like that. FYI, this is not something I wish for. When it comes to my NFL wishes, my wish goes something like, “May I find the blessings quickly no matter what happens for the Super Bowl.” In my mind, by asking for this as my wish I have all the bases covered.
Wishing is a thoughtful pinch for ourselves; I encourage us to wish whenever we can. Wishing doesn’t cost a dime, it’s very personal and there’s no mistaking that it’s exactly something we want. We should wish whole-heartedly because it gives us the opportunity to receive. And if that’s the case, we should be clear about what we want, ready to receive it no matter when it comes and open to seeing the silver lining when it doesn’t come true in the sense that we thought it would. The thoughtfulness that goes into our wishes can be really amazing because we are giving ourselves the well-deserved gifts of hope and faith.
Pinches,
Barb
