Church
On my final dip in the ocean before heading back to Denver, somehow my family had a discussion about church. I was already thinking that I would write about church this week and so I took it as a sign. What were the chances that we would have a conversation about church while we were spending our last moments together as family while on vacation?
My kids think I’m so strict to “make” them go to church on the weekends when we travel. They say their Catholic friends don’t even go to church on the Sundays when they’re home, let alone when they travel. I’m like the Grinch but instead of stealing Christmas, I’m stealing minutes of vacation. Why do I insist on making it to mass every weekend, no matter where I am?:
Seems dumb to say this but it’s a sin to miss mass. Some modern priests don’t want to scare away parishioners so they don’t mention this but it has always been a sin to miss mass.
I’m loyal.
I’m trying to be a good example for my kids. I only have them home for 3 and 5 more years. I want them to know how important it is to go to church every weekend.
Mass is usually 60 minutes long. A week is 168 HOURS. After spending an hour asking for things like good health and lower gas prices, that leaves us with 167 hours to do whatever we need/want to do.
Going to church is an opportunity to say Thank You.
While on vacation, going to mass is an opportunity to see new churches and experience their masses - which will always be different from our church at home.
Attending mass in a church that we’ve never been to is an opportunity to make three wishes*.
Making it to mass is an opportunity to build community.
Showing up at church is an opportunity to inspire others to do the same.
Mass is a ritual - it’s filled with traditions - it’s a habit - it’s a routine.
When one or more people gather to say prayers, the message is louder. Of course we can all stay home and pray - God will hear us no matter where we are. But it is similar to when people go into the streets and demonstrate to fight for rights. Is it better for one to sit at home saying out loud what they stand for or is it better to collectively stand for some injustice? This is why going to mass matters - our prayers collectively make a bigger difference than just individually.
In Costa Rica we can’t even understand the mass because it’s in Spanish so why bother? Because I think it’s great for my kids to see how the locals worship - just like us! And they get to use their Spanish skills to help me figure out where we are in the mass. One last plus - sometimes, the effort and the hour away is good for the family. It’s a little break away from the other members who don’t attend mass.
So my hub says more people would go to Catholic masses if there was no singing and all the passages were skipped which would make mass less than a half an hour. He says people just want to hear the priest’s homily with the caveat that the priest could relay messages in terms that we can relate to. As most people, Catholics and all religious denominations, many feel like they need to “get something”out of mass in order for it to be worth their while. Nowadays, I am the exact OPPOSITE. I am always grateful when I get to mass because it’s my chance to say thank you. I’m like, “Phew - I made it - lucky me!”
Here’s the deal without getting all “Jesus” like on you. My thoughts on a higher power (in my case God), is that my life is much better with him in it than without. Some may not agree and I’m glad we live in a country where we can believe the way we want. But my point about church is that whether we go to church regularly or not - church will always be there for us. The amount of available mass times make it easy to slide in and catch an hour of gratitude time. Trust me when I say there have been some impossible situations when my kids and I cannot make mass. Thanks to COVID, mass can be streamed online. I mean how cool is that? As a Catholic, streaming mass doesn’t allow us to receive communion which to me, is a huge part of the mass, but it’s better than nothing. Communion matters but to me, it’s the act of being thankful weekly that matters more. Yes, I’m old school and I will go to confession if I miss mass (I even make my kids go to confession too). Let’s get this straight, it’s not because I think God will come down and punish me or take away the best life I am living these days. It’s because when I do something wrong that I had the chance to do right, I want that guilt to go away. Going to confession is more of a selfish thing rather than a “I better do this or else” thing.
Something that I am NOT old school about: is the way I dress for mass. Sure, I would love to be dressed up in my Sunday best every week but I’m not about to skip mass just because I don’t have time to shower. I have gone to mass in workout clothes several dozens of times. Yes, it is more respectful for us to look good for Jesus - it’s very thoughtful to dress nicely. But not being dressed up is the lesser of two evils because missing mass is letting the big guy down.
Even on vacation the three of us make it to mass. It’s not easy or convenient and in Costa Rica, the mass is entirely in Spanish but we make it and I hope these two will appreciate the opportunity I am giving them to say thank you for our blessings.
Now what does church have to do with thoughtful pinches? Why did I have to get all religious on you? More and more research shows that in order to be happy, gratitude plays a big role. I have to say - going to church is probably the biggest way to be grateful; especially in this day and age. Everyone is SO busy. I don’t hang out with one person who isn’t busy. But to think about gratitude in the highest form, I think about being grateful to my higher power - God. Some may look at my life as if I have it all going on; that I’m living my best life. Guess what. I am! I’m living my best life because I figured out (thanks to writing this blog), that gratitude keeps me thoughtful and I have so much to be grateful for. It’s a constant hamster wheel of gratitude that doesn’t stop when I travel to another city. My gratitude doesn’t stop when I’m sipping drinks by the pool when I’m on vacation. If anything I am more grateful when I’m on vacay because I have time to think about every thing that I am grateful for. All of these reasons to go to church are what I want my children to learn from me. When they are out of the house, living in a dorm room for college, will they try to go to church - hell no, I can bet money on it! I remember feeling free as a bird my college freshman year away from home going to USD. There was no one there to tell me what to eat, where to put my things and that I had to to go to mass. So yes, I skipped mass many Sundays that first quarter of that year. However, since USD is a Catholic college and I coincidentally hung out with friends who went to church, I found myself going to mass every Sunday after that first quarter. I wouldn’t miss it. In fact, it became a social thing and for that, I will always be grateful. My habit strengthened instead of thinning out.
Anyway, thoughtful pinches is about giving gifts to let someone know we “see” them, we appreciate them and we care about them. Thought I’d point out that we can pinch the higher power too.
Pinches,
Barb
*Three wishes. I am not sure this a universal perk about going to a new church. My mom told me that we could make three wishes when I was a kid and it could’ve been just to get me to go to mass when we traveled. But I carry on the tradition whether it is Catholic endorsed or not. More on three wishes in another post.
