5 Moving Pinches

I have been told several times since January 2021 that moving is a very stressful time. I must have “Moving Amnesia” because I can only remember little pieces of my move to Minneapolis from Hollywood, FL and I can’t remember how stressful it was. I have moved quite a bit in my life and although I do remember many of my moves, I do not remember the stressful parts.

A little history of my past moves begins with being born in Norfolk, VA (Go Navy!). We moved to Wilmington, CA when I was 3, then back to the east coast to Cockeysville, MD when I was 5, then back to the west coast to Yorba Linda, CA when I was 10, then to college in San Diego, CA days after I turned 18 yrs old. I lived back and forth between YL and SD for 4 years of college each year in different housing. Moved back home to YL for a year before moving to Newport Beach, CA for a few years then to Redondo Beach, CA for a couple of years and then to Chicago, IL.

Reflecting over all my moves, my move from CA to Chicago was during such a pivotal time in my life and yet I had no fear. At the height of my career, I quit a really good job, packed one large box and one suitcase, said goodbye to my family and moved to a tiny studio in the Gold Coast. I never looked back. One fun fact: when I first moved to Chicago, I didn’t have a TV or get the newspaper for a few weeks so I didn’t know that there was a severe snow storm going on. When I walked to the post office I wondered why no one else was outside. I walked to my friend’s condo only to discover while watching his TV that I was in the middle of the snow storm. Second fun fact: I used that same large box as my table to eat on and as a desk for months plus I slept on the floor until a friend lent me her air mattress.

My dad had died in August 2000 and I had been flying back to CA once a month from Chicago for a year to help my mom settle the finances and get her life in order. My transition from CA to FL is a little bit hazy to me because shortly after the hub (we were not married at the time) took a job with the Dolphins we took a break and I wasn’t sure I was going to make that move with him. Eventually, a few months after 9/11, I moved to Fort Lauderdale, FL with a couple of suitcases and two kittens. Our condo association did not allow pets but I brought them anyway. Another thing I remember about this particular move to this condo is that I kept everything in boxes. I had moved around so much that I didn’t want to take everything out. This behavior was something that I learned from my mom who kept many of our home items in boxes (I can’t say I blame her - she moved so many times by the time we arrived in YL). The move to Fort Lauderdale was when my not-yet-mother-in-law tried to teach me that no matter how long we plan on living somewhere, for a month or years, we should always decorate our homes in a way that makes it home. For example, she would urge me to take the photos out of the boxes and decorate the condo with them. I did not.

A couple of years later, our move from Fort Lauderdale, FL to Hollywood Beach, FL was easy and uneventful. I remember we had really nice “Just Moved” cards and that I unpacked every single box. I made sure there were no boxes packed “just in case” we moved again. This time I listened to my mother-in-law. I think this lesson is a thoughtful pinch and it’s the #1 “moving” pinch that I’m sharing with you (in case you didn’t already do this).

Recalling the move from Hollywood, FL to Minneapolis is like a blur even though it was my last and my most recent move. The details that I do remember are: 1) getting on a flight with a 7 month old baby by myself and below us, where the cargo was stored, were our 2 cats, our dog (all in crates) and our luggages. 2) I met a nice lady on the plane who I trusted to watch my daughter while I ran to the restroom at the airport - not on the plane - and I remember thinking while I was in mid-stream, “What have I done? I left my child with someone I met on the plane!”. Obviously it turned out fine and that person became one of my very first friends here in MN. The move itself was blur. I don’t remember much else except 3) putting my daughter to bed at 7p and working like a madwoman to unpack everything before she woke up (she didn’t sleep thru the night; waking up 3-5 times a night). Just like I had learned, I unpacked every box even though we only planned to rent this house for a year. Almost fourteen years later, this home has been, by far, where I have spent the longest consecutive time in my life.

Now I’m getting ready to sell our home and move from Minneapolis to Denver with two kids, a dog and a mother. Here are 4 other thoughtful pinches that I am learning during this move:

#2. I knew that I would have to say, “See you later” to many wonderful and dear friends, but having a party to do so never even crossed my mind. My friends will be throwing a party in order to send me off and I am super touched by the gesture! I’m not sure why this caught me off guard, especially since it was just the other week that we sent off one of our friends by having a GNO dinner event. Maybe I didn’t think about it because every move that I had made prior to this one, especially the move from CA to Chicago, was matter of fact; I just moved. So I am filing away this gesture in my book of pinches to remember how this made me feel so that I can do this for others.

#3. Another pinch of wisdom that I stumbled upon as I simultaneously declutter while packing up, is the awareness that giving someone thoughtful pinches to celebrate their move is a double-edged sword. On one hand, we want to let someone know we care about them, we will miss them and we want them to remember us. On the other hand, the pinch becomes lost in sea of things packed away in boxes. I have friends who packed up their current homes in order to do some remodeling or major repair work and while the boxes were in storage, they learned how to live temporarily with what they had. Many, almost all of them, realized that they had too much stuff that was never used or missed when packed away. I was glad that they shared this information with me because it has been very helpful in my current situation. I am still going to ponder this dilemma though because I am delighted when I find small items to show my thoughtfulness and yet I also want to be mindful of the person moving. It’s a challenge to strike a balance but it can be done. In fact, my friend Megan was able to find something small but mindful for my move. The keychain pictured above is a perfect example of the kind of thoughtfulness that I love. In her card, Megan said, “This keychain symbolizes your next adventure, the deep friendships you made here and those in your future.”

#4. My friend Frankie, who recently moved, advised that in addition to writing the contents of the boxes on the outside, write # 1 on the boxes that contain the items that we will need immediately. Whether that be shampoo, dish soap, gym clothes - whatever our priorities are, the boxes that will be needed first should have a #1 on them. All of the boxes will look the same and taking time to read the contents in each box will take forever. I anticipate craziness and mayhem everywhere when we move into the new house but if I mark those important boxes, no matter what is inside, seeing the # 1 will help save time and stress to find what we need asap. I love this!

My Marie Kondo moment: Thanking our car and wishing that it will serve the next owner well.

#5. One more discovery that I wanted to share is that I realized we are invested in our neighbors. Yes, it’s true that my family hit the neighbor jackpot when we moved into this house. With that said, it is only natural to want the people who will buy our house to be deserving of my neighbors’ goodness. After a little upgrading, in a month or two, we plan to put our house on the market. But I didn’t want to wait until that happens to begin asking for good buyers. As soon as Lent began this year, I planted a seed within my family to pray for the soon-to-be owners of this house. We hope they will be amazing neighbors in this community. Not because I think we were amazing but because this neighborhood and this house deserves good people. I believe in the power of being grateful for things that have served us well and I get sentimental when it’s time to let go of them. For example, recently, when it was time to sell my hub’s car, I asked the kids to thank the car for the safe rides that it provided us for so many years. I took a picture of it and silently hoped that the car would serve someone else in ways that they may need it. You can only imagine how I am going to be when we leave this house.

I am starting to understand that while the logistics of moving can be stressful, I think most of the stress is from having to live in the present moment while looking forward to our future. I agree, moving is a stressful time in someone’s life even if the excitement to get to the next destination outweighs the desire to stay put in the home that we know and love. I am hoping that by sharing these five moving pinches that they can be helpful for your next move. I’m sure that if you check with me in a few weeks, I will have learned 20 more pieces of advice since this will be my first move during Covid with a dog, teenagers and a senior citizen. Wish us luck!

Pinches,

Barb