When my dad turned 54 years old, the date was July 31, 2000. I was 30 years old. When I turned 31, the next day on August 29, 2000, my dad died. He was 54 years old for only (less than) a month.

Today, on August 28, 2023, I turn 54 years old. Do I fear that I’m on borrowed time from this point on? Maybe. It’s probably the reason why, every morning, I am always eager to get out of bed, grateful that I have a chance to get stuff done.

Some will think it’s morbid to think this way but I live this way: If my time is up, if I have to leave this earth, I pray and wish to leave behind a legacy. I hope for a moment in time that when I’m gone, people will reflect on what I did in this world that made it a better place. That would make me so happy. It’s my life goal - one that I may not be alive to know if I accomplished it.

Besides being a mom of two teenagers and the wife of an NFL executive, I’m also in a rush to get a mindshift started about being thoughtful. I think we should aim to be thoughtful “in-the-moment”. Not just during the obligatory times - birthdays, holidays, anniversaries. I’m talking about the “here and now” moments. I want to be the one who shifted the minds of so many - for the goodness of our world. I want to change the way people think because I think my way of thinking is genuine.

My family wouldn’t agree with that last statement. They do not think the way I think is genuine. Not just my immediate family but everyone in my family. I have observed that when I speak, they don’t hear love, they hear conflict, which then turns my intention of love into defense. I am not sure where my genuine way of showing love came from because it wasn’t from my mom. She doesn’t say anything at all because she thinks silence is better. The problem with silence is that when something goes wrong, we hear her say, “I knew it.” On the other hand, other family members have lots to say, lots of advice about something but they won’t tell the person directly, it’s always behind their backs. I don’t want to think in either of these ways because I’d rather be genuine. When I speak genuinely and more importantly, when I speak in the “here and now”, it is efficiently effective. My way of thinking is not for everyone, which I have concluded is anyone who is close to me. But one thing is for certain in these busy times, efficiently effective is an upside.

I understand family is a roller coaster ride and we all have good days and bad days. We will have moments of pure joy and days of extreme hatred for each other. I also know there will be hurt feelings or moments of sweetness. But as I celebrate this birthday, I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if I knew I only had a month left. I think that’s why I am worried. I am worried that my family won’t get the chance to understand me. In which case, leaving them behind would not be peaceful at all. I am also worried that my “Thoughtful Pinch” brand won’t have a chance to take off and that would mean that I wasn’t able to change the minds of many. So the right answer to the question is: Yes, I do fear that I am on borrowed time.

But let me leave us all on a positive note. Even though my dad has missed out on so many events, I think my dad accomplished a lot in his 54 years of life. I’m guessing he wanted to do more. Playing more golf was probably top on his list and I’m sure there were things in his career that he wanted to check off. Nonetheless, I am grateful that I had 31 years with him. Today, I can proudly say that at 54, I have accomplished a lot too. All of these accomplishments are the reasons why I enjoy celebrating my birthday every August. My years have been filled with so many great events that celebrating another year getting older is fine with me because what I’m really celebrating is another year of being blessed. If you know me, you know that I never fly under the radar for my birthday. I go around telling people, “It’s my birthday!” and people, total strangers, genuinely wish me a happy one. They don’t even know me but they say it and I gladly accept their wishes for happiness. I asked Nationaldaycalendar.com for 8/28 to be the day to celebrate National Thoughtful Day because just like my hub is always thought of on Cinco de Mayo, I want to be thought of on National Thoughtful Day. I am LOUD and PROUD that my birthday shares this national day.

I want to do more after 54 and of course convincing my family and the nation that we need to be efficiently effective is definitely on my “to-do” list. Genuine thinking is involved and I think we’re all ready for it.