"H" Pincher

My cousin Jay-Jay and I back in 1970. One of us grows up to be a Helper and the other a Hoarder.

Well, guess who’s back (again) pushing her agenda. I can’t help myself. I just know that somewhere out there a person is comparing themselves to someone who is amazing at showing thoughtfulness. This person is feeling inadequate about the way they show their thoughtfulness and wishes they were kicking butt too. I feel this way every single time I go on Pinterest. If only everyone knew that there are at least 10 styles (probably more) of thoughtfulness. Every person, no matter what, is thoughtful, we all just show it differently.

I’ve written about people who are the “P” Pinchers - the Professional and Proper styles, “I” Pinchers - the Influenced and Insightful styles, “N” Pinchers - Numbers and Names styles and “C” Pinchers - the Collaborative and Celebratory styles. These are eight out of the ten thoughtfulness styles that I have curated. The final letter of styles begin with the letter “H”. The acronym P-I-N-C-H is Pinch. Thoughtful Pinch. So here we go!

If you’re an “H” Pincher, you’re someone who shows your thoughtfulness by being a Helper - aka acts of service from the Five Love Languages. For you, you’d rather roll up your sleeves and help someone instead of thinking about what to buy them in order to show them that you’re thinking of them. Labor of love is your jam. This takes a special person because in order to Help others, you’re pretty organized and/or you are secure enough in having your needs met before offering to help others. “H” Pinchers set up the meal trains, host the play dates so a friend can get stuff done and water the plants while pals are on vacation because these pinchers love to help. You’re the person who drops everything to answer computer questions or sends links to great resources when we’re going thru an unusual or difficult time. Something else: Most people do not really consider donating monetarily to charities and causes as being a Helper. By thinking, “We’re just giving money. It isn’t really being thoughtful”, we need to “mind shift” here. Think about those we are Helping when organizations ask for donations. Those who volunteer and work for the organizations have put a lot of hard work into a cause which matters to them. Without money, these causes do not have a voice and then change doesn’t happen. This is a form of Help. There are no gift receipts, wrapping paper, driving around to stores or scrolling thru Amazon for gift ideas etc. for this style - a Helper’s thoughtfulness is priceless.

Alright, there is no judging for the last but certainly not least of the 10 styles of thoughtfulness. The other style that begins with the letter “H” is Hoarder. It sounds like a Maria Kondo nightmare but we’re out there. Those of us who Hoard know what this style of thoughtfulness means. We buy items (usually on sale) because we know at some point, it will make a fantastic gift. Then, because timing is everything, we will hold onto the gift until it is the perfect time to give it away. Viola! That’s not bad is it? Not only are we extra thoughtful for having a plan in place for days (ok, maybe months) in advance, but it is perfectly innocent. The only time it could backfire is when we don’t have space for these gifts or we create hoarding issues by holding onto an item for 10 years until the baby is old enough to play with it. But, if we buy a bunch of green stuff at half price the day after St. Patrick’s Day and we know that we’re definitely going to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day again with someone we care about - then saving it for a year is considered a win-win. Not only did we save money but we also don’t have to shop for something next year. Done! Again, this style of thoughtfulness takes some sort of organizing. For me, I can organize my hoard stash much better than I can organize my family’s needs in order to show my thoughtfulness by Helping someone.

Before I “wrap up” all ten styles of thoughtfulness I want to ask: Does your lifestyle get in the way of how you want to give? I mentioned before that every time I go onto Pinterest for a holiday inspiration or an occasion, I usually feel defeated. Why is that? Because I see so many creative ways people are making things and I don’t have the TIME to do 90% of these great ideas. My lifestyle doesn’t allow for me to make from scratch Easter baskets made from home spun sugar. Do I love the idea and wish I can make them for my kids? Yes. Can I buy them instead? Yes. The reason I started this blog was for people who wanted to show thoughtfulness but either lacked inspiration or didn’t have time. I found that presenting ideas through writing about each topic, readers can take what they want and leave the rest behind. Let it go. I want to instill empowerment, not jealousy, anxiety or fear that we’re not good enough. I’m all about what you CAN do; not what you can’t do.

So I curated these 10 styles of thoughtfulness because I want EVERYONE to self-identify and relate to the styles that feel right for their way of “living and giving”. Once we realize and accept that we actually SHOW thoughtfulness in some shape or form - it’s time to let go of wanting or wishing we showed it in other ways. A style may not be yours and that’s ok. Maybe, if you really want to show thoughtfulness in a style that you can’t right now, it will happen at another time. But right here and right now we need to stop comparing. My hope is that we find one style or many styles and that we feel validated. Because validation brings happiness. Yes, you are thoughtful!

Pinches,

Barb