Honestly
I wish we could be like dogs. When dogs communicate with other dogs, I’m pretty sure they don’t announce that they’re going to be honest with them. They just go for it and start sniffing around. When dogs get caught chewing on something that they’re not supposed to, we know from their eyes that they honestly didn’t mean to disappoint us. And even though dogs are not supposed to tell us who their favorite human is, they can’t help but honestly show us.
Grady was all over Sally the Great Dane at his birthday party. There was no time to establish honest boundaries.
Meanwhile, Midnight the Newfoundland and Reese the Australian Shepard weren’t hiding their honest feelings - they wanted a treat!
I bring this up because when people speak, I have been noticing lately , and maybe it’s because I am listening more intently, that there is a new language trend. Remember when the word literally invaded our conversations - literally being overused literally about 2 years ago? Nowadays, I am hearing the word honestly way too much.
I play tennis with a woman who uses the cutest old school phrases and one of them is… you guessed it, honestly. When she misses the ball or hits a shot past the line she says to herself (but loud enough for me to hear), “Oh honestly Judy, what were you thinking?” It’s so Leave it to Beaver language that I just have to giggle. Honestly is so old school that is it back in style again!
In every day conversations, I have been hearing many versions of this trendy word, honestly. For instance:
In my honest opinion…
If I’m being honest…
To be honest…
To be totally honest…
I have to be honest…
I’m gonna be completely honest with you…
Between you and me, I honestly think…
This makes me question:
Why is honesty so trendy recently?
Why are we having to proclaim our honesty when we speak to people?
Why should we have to differentiate between the times that we are being honest and other times?
Should I be questioning the integrity of everything else that was said before this declaration?
Obviously these are rhetorical questions and you know I’m being very dramatic about this. However, lately it seems like we need to add more validity to whatever is being stated and it worries me. I’m thinking that repeatedly involving an “honestly” disclaimer within our statements must mean there is a need for it. My hope is that this “trend” goes away like literally had literally faded away. If enough of us build trust whenever we speak to each other, we should be able to just say what we need to say without a, “I’m-about-to-tell-you-the- truth” head’s up.
I want to believe that unless we regularly hang out with habitual liars, stating the fact that we’re being honest is super redundant. It’s like a waste of thought, words, space, time, effort. Maybe I’m super sensitive to this because I have a reputation for being straight-forward. I don’t usually preface any statement that I make with the word honestly. In fact, my close friends know me as the “what-you-see-is-what-you-get” type. In this case, it’s not something to brag about. But I do know some people appreciate it and some people don’t. Ironically, I’m the type of person who wants to please everybody and be everyone’s BFF. The difference is that by having true conversations with everyone, my “honesty filter “ keeps good friends closer and keeps the rest at a distance.
When I put together a thoughtful pinch, I experience delight . The reason I get so much joy out of it is because it’s my way of letting someone know that I care about them. Think about what a waste of time it would be to state that I HONESTLY care about them. Can you imagine if I included that disclaimer on every gift tag or in every card?
Dear Friend,
I honestly care about you today. {The other times, I wasn’t really thoughtful, but this time, I mean it. } This gift comes from my heart. {The other gifts were bought out of total obligation or the item was on sale.} {Usually I lie about things but } this card is written with complete honesty. {On other birthdays, the wishes that I offered weren’t honestly wished for you. But today}, on this birthday, I truly want the best for you.
Love You, {mean it}
Barb
It sounds ridiculous but this is what goes thru my head when I see or hear these honestly phrases being used unceremoniously everyday. I don’t want to require assurance that I’m being told the truth every time I talk with a friend or family member. I feel like it would be a reflection on me if I chose to hang out with people who weren’t honest. So here’s a thoughtful pinch suggestion that we should consider giving to our people, a.k.a. our peeps. Have a heart to heart conversation and make a promise to them that we will always be honest and therefore, we will not be prefacing any statements with honestly. These peeps are so important to us that they should never think that we would ever consider the alternative; which is to lie to them. Like the free space in Bingo, being honest is a given.
Pinches,
Barb
