Habits That Transform
My social media newsfeed is loaded with friends forming a habit of posting daily gratitude posts and I am loving it. The more thankfulness shared in the world, the better! This habit will transform my friends by the end of the month and it will be amazing. If you want to start this habit but prefer a private way to keep track of your gratitude, click here for ideas on how to do that and check out some Thanksgiving thoughtful pinches while you’re at it. Either way, private or broadcast, the habit of listing off reasons to be grateful changes people every day.
I’m also in need of transformation but personally, what I need to do in order to change is break a habit not form a habit.
Writing a blog on thoughtfulness has so many benefits. One benefit is self-reflection. Months ago, I realized that in my haste to try to spread thoughtfulness to many, I haven’t been taking the time to really practice thoughtfulness with the four people who live in my home. My family, the most important people in my life, have been getting the short end of the stick for a long time. I have observed that I’m always in a hurry and because of my lack of time management skills, I’m quick to state a problem and/or quick to give a solution without investing any emotion because that would require time. I never have enough time for thoughtful conversations with my family because we’re always on the go. I have a bad habit of telling my kids or my mom something as I’m walking around the house putting stuff in it’s proper place or getting ready to walk out the door. So even if I’m saying caring words and my heart is full of love while I am trying to be helpful, my actions or tone of voice don’t match the situation.
I’m determined to make a change because I really want my family to know the thoughtful person that followers read about each week. The first step in breaking a habit is awareness - it’s half the battle. I have put a lot of thought into how I could break these habits. Similar to quitting smoking or gambling, it will take time, practice and a whole lot of forgiveness. I wish kicking this habit was as easy as: Slow down and try to be more thoughtful. {Brace yourself for TMI.} However, frustrated commands and on-the-go words of wisdom, have been habits of mine that began back in 2009 when I started to go thru menopause. Fortunately I only had one menopausal symptom but unfortunately, it was a big one - I was easily overwhelmed. Shouting was a shortcut method that I used in order to get what I needed done quickly. It was scary to feel overwhelmed for any amount of time but if things got done quicker, I was able to have some relief. Even though menopause didn’t last long, it was long enough to form bad habits which also included terse parental guidance. I’m embarrassed to say that I never tried to break these habits after all those years. Until now. I’m owning up to it. I need to change in order to get back to what is really important: FAMILY.
This weekend we started giving our kids allowances. I wrote out a list of responsibilities and privileges for each of them. I thought I’d make it more interesting than just chores and responsibilities so I gave the kids the authority to catch me whenever I fail to teach or guide them in a heartfelt manner. They should stop me and make me aware that I am missing the opportunity to be thoughtful in my conversations with them. I haven’t told them yet, but I am also giving the authority to the hub and my mom so that they can join in the effort too. I will, without a doubt, fail MANY times.
As you can imagine, my kids will be watching me like a hawk and I am totally fine with that! When I’m caught not speaking thoughtfully, the kids will take a $1 out of my jar and put it in the Family jar. The Family jar will hold the money that we will be using for our next PUPPY. Yes, you read that correctly. Even though breaking this habit will be tough, it’s good to face it and try. At the end of this transformation, we’ll gain a puppy and a better version of me.
Pinches,
Barb
