All in Healthy Family
As Father’s Day approaches, one of my besties, Reena, is preparing for her father to die soon. I have been listening to her as she shares very condensed versions of what she has been going thru. There are necessary steps, paperwork and procedures that must be taken care of and on top of that, she is coordinating “last” visits with her father’s community of friends. Reena sums it up by saying that it reminds her of planning a wedding.
The invitation for the “See Ya Later” party that my friends threw for me said, “No gifts. “ We all know how that goes. And admittedly, I am the biggest rule breaker whenever I see that phrase on an invite. Fortunately some friends read my blog post that mentioned gifts for someone moving. I didn’t open any gifts immediately after the party because I needed a few days to let that party sink in. Since there was a lot of thoughtfulness that went into each rule-breaking gift, sharing the thoughtful pinches may be helpful. The next time there is a need to say “See Ya Later” to a friend who is moving, you’ll be ready!
The only person who calls me Barbara Joyce is my cousin Jay-Jay. And when she calls me that, it’s not really meant to be endearing, it’s meant to be like, “Girl, what are you doing?” Y’all, it must be a southern thing when someone addresses another by using both their first and middle names. Even though I’m over fifty, when Jay-Jay calls me Barbara Joyce, I feel like I’ve got some explaining to do!
I love that the three ladies in the picture above gathered their friends from the club and hosted a tea party. It was a lovely time. Some of us hadn’t seen each other in two years due to the pandemic. Typically, not seeing each other at the club is only at most, a season or two in between. Therefore, we appreciated the opportunity to attend the tea party because it was a reunion for many of us
The other day I was caught completely off guard when the Moms Group amazed me with a surprise party. Coincidentally, the surprise party was on the same day as my hub’s birthday (and Cinco de Mayo) so any attention for me was definitely not on my radar. My Moms Group consists of moms that I met when my daughter was eight months old (now 14.5 years old), moms that I met when my son was born (2008) and moms that I met in between then and now middle school years. Meeting up for parent educating classes for fourteen years or just a year, we have history together. Moms who learn together, stay together.
Even though mothers are not supposed to measure ourselves up against other mothers, we do it anyway. Comparing our motherly capabilities to others is something that we naturally do and I think it could do more good than harm; especially if we compare both sides. We can try to be like someone we admire - a mother who seems to have it altogether. And/or when my daughter is watching Dance Moms or Toddlers & Tiara’s and I catch a glimpse of those mothers, I can strive to be the opposite of who they are.
Surprisingly, leaving Denver after our 18 day visit was tougher than I thought it would be. Prior to our trip, the Type-A in me envisioned being there checking off a lot of boxes and getting things done. And we did.
So many people were going stir crazy after a couple of months of hibernating during the COVID Stay-at-Home order in 2020, that they ventured out in RVs and SUVs traveling the country. I was envious and wished that my family could also go on a Road Trip! Yes, you read that correctly. When I talk about road trips, I always add an exclamation point at the end of “road trip” (!) because for me, I always think of them as an opportunity for undivided fun.
When I was a pre-school teacher I observed another teacher (who was barely 21 years old) as she taught our students manners. She gave cues to the kids whenever manners were needed and she explained to me that she didn’t want the kids to perform manners. In other words, she didn’t want the kids growing up thinking they needed to act - she wanted them to know why they were using manners. It made sense to me. So before I had kids I promised myself that I wasn’t going to teach my kids common courtesies by saying, “Can you say, ‘Yes please.’ ?“ whenever the cashier at a store would ask if they wanted a sticker or a lollipop. Think about it, we are actually insulting their intelligence by asking that. Of course they can say those words! Sometimes I would physically cringe when I would hear, “What do we say when someone does something nice for us?”. I imagined a monkey on the shoulder of a street performer doing tricks.
I have been told several times since January 2021 that moving is a very stressful time. I must have “Moving Amnesia” because I can only remember little pieces of my move to Minneapolis from Hollywood, FL and I can’t remember how stressful it was. I have moved quite a bit in my life and although I do remember many of my moves, I do not remember the stressful parts.
I thought about sharing my journal entry from January 11, 2021 because on that day, I wrote down 51 hurdles that were effecting my life at that time. Some hurdles are deep and personal while others are not a big deal at all. Nonetheless, they are all hurdles. The main reason why I wrote them down in my journal was because I knew that if I saw each hurdle on it’s own line, I would see that each and every one of them was something I could handle. On that particular day, it just so happened that I was experiencing them all at once. Even though I captured the moment in my journal with written words, it has taken me awhile to put those words into context, explaining the mental gymnastics that my brain performed at the beginning of 2021.
Besides flowers being considered a gesture of love and care, they represent beauty and remind us of hope. Think of all the occasions that flowers are a part of - weddings, funerals, births, dinner parties, birthdays, Valentine’s Day, Spring, tea parties, Thanksgiving etc. Not to mention the scents of flowers are so naturally intoxicating. As obvious as it may seem that flowers can set the tone for any event, to me, the mystery about flowers has always been in floral designs. I know nothing about which flowers go well together and which certain positions of the flowers look pleasing to the eye. People, professional or layman, who know how to arrange flowers in a way that can make us feel certain emotions should be celebrated.
