Today a wise friend of mine summed me up in one sentence - I am one of those people who is good at offering help but have a tough time receiving it. Many of you are in the same boat. I also think there are a lot of us who feel the same way about giving thoughtful pinches vs. receiving them. If someone does something nice for me, I want to reciprocate and therefore sometimes I get stressed instead of just feeling good knowing that someone thought of me.
If you came to my house right now you would think you were in a florist shop. My home is filled with flowers dropped off by friends giving me thoughtful pinches. The first bunch of flowers was dropped off by my friends from my parenting class - sending me well wishes for my hub's recovery and they attached a gift card for spa treatments with a wonderful note.
A couple days later, I got the tragic news that my cousin died. I was so filled with sadness that I couldn't contain it and expressed it on Facebook. I received so many responses from that one post and I am very lucky that a lot of people reached out to me via texts, voicemails, Voxer messages and posts. Friends have dropped off more beautiful flowers, delicious treats, favorite meals and handwritten cards. I have been trying to wrap my head around the thoughtfulness people offer when someone passes away. It’s not as if this the first time I’ve lost someone close, but I think it’s the first time I’m aware of the thoughtfulness. And although I want to do more than just hit the thumbs up “Like” option when someone offers me a heartfelt comment, I have to let go of my need to reciprocate right now. I have to accept that I just got pinched.
Sorry, I didn't capture pictures of the following but I still wanted to tell you about the pinches I received after my friends found out I lost my cousin Pia: Allison dropped off tulips and another big bouquet of mixed flowers, cookies and bread. Mandy dropped off a gift certificate for Bite Squad, candy and a card. And Rachel left a card in two grocery bags filled on my porch with a ton of basic needs and treats. She also left a chicken dinner just like she did when I came home after giving birth to Beau. It was like a warm hug from a friend - just like I needed.
Brene Brown mentions on Super Soul TV that in her research she found that a big indicator of someone who is trustworthy are people who attend funerals. I agree 100%. We can’t make it to every funeral. But we try our best. Showing up says you care. Offering your condolences to those who have lost someone and saying goodbye to those who have left us behind are ultimate thoughtful pinches. On Thursday we will bury my cousin and wild horses can't stop me from attending her funeral. I need to be there to see all of the flowers, videos, pictures, meet the friends and family who are posting on the dedicated Facebook wall, I want to hear the eulogies and get my copy of the memorial leaflet. Trust is such a loaded word but when I show up, I want her family to know that they can trust me - I am there to help.
Pia Marie Pellicer Christy, always sent us cards - some were handmade and other cards included pictures of her son. She always kept in touch. Pia brought gifts to my kids and would spoil them by letting them get whatever they wanted at the hockey rink snack bar. She cared about so many people. Since Pia was someone who pinched us often, I wish I had more chances to reciprocate. I was asked to prepare a eulogy which is an honor and a privilege. This eulogy will be a gift that I can give and receive at the same time.