I finally practiced yoga after a four or five month hiatus. The yoga hiatus was not because I needed a break from it. Gosh, I love yoga. No matter how intentional I want to be, life just rolls right over my practice. You’d think I would make it a top priority since everything about yoga makes me feel like Barb Pellicer Paton. When I come back to yoga after missing it, I find myself again. That’s the cool thing about yoga. When life gets in the way of practicing, which it will always fight to do, there is peace knowing that I will find myself again.

Today in yoga class, which I should clarify, we were not “in” but “out” side practicing yoga, our instructor said something that resonated with me so much. She was quoting famous Zen master Yunmen answering the question, “What is the lesson of a full lifetime?” He answered, “To learn an appropriate response.”

As with any “Yogi Blurb” I hear in classes, I let that Q+A sink in. It did not take long in class for me to whole-heartedly agree with the answer “learning an appropriate response.” Since I’m constantly learning and taking mental notes of what worked and what didn’t work when communicating, I think that in the most simplest form, being able to respond in a way that I could be good with is what life is all about. Unpacking that statement, I realize just how complicated that simple answer is.

First, in order to respond properly or appropriately, we must be at peace with where we are in that moment in time. If we are frazzled, we can’t respond calmly. So by taking care of ourselves first and foremost, we are better prepared for others when asked to respond. Someone healthy can respond to anything, whether it’s an emergency or the punchline of a joke, since we are not preoccupied with ailments, we can appropriately react. When I refer to health, I am speaking about both body and mind. This is why new moms with infants are constantly being told to nap when their babies nap. At first, we never listen to that advice but then the evidence of having a foggy brain sets in and then we start taking care of ourselves so that we can take care of others. It’s actually the most unselfish act we can do for others.

Second, if I am in a situation that I can not give an appropriate response, I allow others to step in. Often times, when tragedies like gun violence occurs, we are quick to point fingers. Everyone grieves differently and respectfully, I think those who are angry need to be heard. By allowing others to step in because I won’t, doesn’t mean that I turn a blind eye, or that I don’t care or that I feel nothing needs to change. Those who can appropriately address issues and invoke change, should continue doing their thing. It is what changes lives and policy. Influencers with power, if used the right way, have the ability to keep things progressing. The appropriate response for me is to have space for all emotions. In the recent case of children dying to gun violence, my body and mind only had room for sadness and angst for these families that are ripped apart. My strength is conveying my thoughts into words of condolence via letters and bringing hope to parents whose worlds are rocked. That is how I am able to respond.

The third thought that was shared by our yoga instructor today pertaining to an appropriate response was haunting to hear but so true. She said that our responses can involve experiences of our past mistakes, successes, ancestors, family history etc. and I am so glad that she brought this up. This thought resonated with me because I tend to beat myself up for not responding in a great way with my teenagers. Last I checked, I haven’t raised teenagers before so this “newness” is real. This feeling of inadequacy is real. I keep putting pressure on myself to get it right the first time because I think about the mistakes my mom made raising me. My expectations for my mom to be better or for me to better is dog poop. How can my mom have done any better than she did? She was an immigrant just trying to figure out a new country, have a career, raise kids and take care of her family both here in the US and back in the Philippines. Why did I think she could have appropriate responses? Even though my life is much easier than my mom’s, why do I expect to be an expert in responding to teenage madness?

Do you see how a simple lesson of learning the appropriate responses can be so dang complicated? It takes a full lifetime to know how to respond; there is no quick way to obtain the answers. Our instructor shared today that Yoga can help chip away at the stuff that is blocking our potential, it can help provide clarity and yoga can move areas within so that we are better able to have appropriate responses. Proving once again, that Yoga can help fix many things in our lives. Thanks Yoga!

So in case you were wondering, “Yogi Blurbs” is a term that I made up. It’s when someone who studies yoga, is able to discern the teachings from hundreds of years ago and relay it so that it makes sense in our lifetime. I consider the blurb of information to be very timely and relevant to what is going on at that moment. These nuggets of wisdom are thoughtful pinches because they are gifts. It saves me from having to learn all these ancient meanings; I don’t have time to do that. Plus, I think it is a gift to receive the right amount of information without being overwhelmed because we are also there for a workout. In short, a Yogi Blurb is just the right amount of useful information to stimulate the mind while strengthening the body. Today’s blurb was perfect. So glad to be enlightened.

Pinches and Namaste,

Barb