At the moment, I am deciding where to get mattresses for our guest bedroom. Exciting, I know. The price difference between two vendors is around $150-300 depending on the various specifications. I am buying two full size beds so it adds up to a minimum of $300 to consider. I wouldn’t usually discuss price details about my home decor (unless it was a steal!) but the decision about which mattress company to use is hanging on me. I am trying to live up to a thoughtful concept that involves guests.

When I was growing up, we constantly had guests spend the night. Sometimes families new to Southern CA would live with us for days, weeks, months, a year or more while they got their bearings. Recently my mom and I reviewed all the families who lived with us throughout the years and it was pretty cool to know that we were a part in their lives as they started a new journey. My family was fortunate enough to have a guest bedroom but sometimes my brother and I were asked to sleep in other rooms so that the families could stay in our rooms. My mom would make up the beds where our guests would sleep with sheets and blankets that were worn in by us; ones that my family “graduated” from. Some even had holes that were sewn closed and/or had a few bloody nose stains. I’ve been told by many friends that this was how it was in their homes as well. So I am convinced that this is not just a Filipino thing; it’s more like a generational thing.

The guest room in the house that I grew up in, other than the bed, always held the furniture that no longer served a purpose in the rest of the house. Every piece in the room was make-shift to create a bedroom feel but it was more like “make it work” so we wouldn’t have to get rid of it or buy anything new. I’m sure at this point of this blog post, that I am sounding very entitled describing very first world problems (can I say “first world” these days?). Being a hoarder with sentimental issues, I totally 100% understand why many guest bedrooms are furnished this way. It’s the most economical way to accommodate anyone who is not in our immediate family. We count our blessings that we have a guest bedroom. This is not lost on me. I am not trying to make anyone feel guilty for not having a brand new Tempur-Pedic bed with the latest Serena and Lily sheets in their guest bedroom.

In fact, beyond an actual guest bedroom, think about setting someone up on your couch or using your kids’ bunk beds for your visitors. How do we make our guests feel comfortable, safe and clean? A dedicated room is not necessary to do this. There are ways to make someone feel welcomed and invited regardless of where they sleep. Everything about this “guest space” starts with thoughtfulness. One thing about me is that since I do the laundry, I think washing the bedding is such a drag. But I insist that even if someone only slept on the bedding for less than 5 hours, I will still wash everything before letting someone else use it. This may be a “must do” for you too but I do know some people who don’t feel the same. It doesn’t mean they care less about their guests, it just means they spend more time preparing other things that matter - like a home cooked meal. Or taking their guests to the local sightseeing attractions. It’s all a balance and there is not one full proof way to make our guest spaces perfect. Unless you are a guest of Martha Stewart then everything is perfect.

Being the over-thinker that I am, I hesitated to write about giving our guests this type of thoughtful pinch - providing them the space that makes them feel extra special. What if my friends and family start to worry that my expectations when I visit them will be very high? Well, like most guests, I am just happy to be there. I am excited to spend time with the person I am visiting. I am grateful for the hospitality no matter what. My expectations, like most, are just to have a place to rest my head when it’s time for bed and maybe a bathroom to use for brushing my teeth. Other than that, the expectations are pretty low. I’m not very fancy and FYI, I can sleep standing and have no problem sleeping on crowded flights. In other words, it would be impossible for any host to screw up my visit.

Some will relate to this post and think about the spaces they currently provide when they have overnight visitors. Others already know that they are doing their best. Hospitality is a thoughtful pinch for our guests and whether we have a designated space for them or we repurpose some temporary space for them, we can make it special. Opening up our homes is an extension of opening up our hearts. When guests feel great about a visit, they are more than happy to return for another visit and/or return the favor by hosting us. I felt the need to bring up guests spaces on a blog about thoughtfulness because of the awareness of what was once common for the past generations. Back then, everything was practical; it wasn’t wrong or classless or selfish. These days I have the opportunity to make decisions based on what I observed and I can pay attention to how I feel. My instinct tells me that our guests won’t object to feeling honored. My gut tells me that their visit is the special occasion that I have been reserving our fine items for. If we keep waiting to use the nice stuff, they may never get used. My heart tells me that when my friends and family are visiting, they could use a little spoiling. All of this factors into why I decided to start fresh in our guest bedroom.

When I asked my designer which mattress she preferred she sent over a link for the two companies in order for me to get perspective and possibly choose a mattress. She added, “Depends on how much you like your guests.” Yes, that is the question we ask ourselves when we make these decisions.

Pinches,

Barb