Surprisingly, leaving Denver after our 18 day visit was tougher than I thought it would be. Prior to our trip, the Type-A in me envisioned being there checking off a lot of boxes and getting things done. And we did. We were able to visit our aunt a few times, have an assessment for ballet, look for a home, talk to coaches about the hockey programs, enjoy a good margarita on date night, participate in language and math assessments for the new school, find a hair stylist, obtain a trust-worthy dog sitter, have a teeth cleaning at my new dentist and most importantly, we were able to shop for more Bronco’s swag. I thought that after tackling my “to-do” list, I would be eager to leave Denver in order to get our MPLS house ready to sell. However, while I was checking off the boxes, I started to have feelings for our new environment. It was like I was that gal who was tempted to cheat on her boyfriend - as in Minneapolis is my boyfriend and Denver was looking mighty fine.

I must say, it wasn’t love at first sight. In fact, as we were driving into Denver, it was sleeting and the traffic was crappy. I immediately wanted to go back home - I didn’t need this, I already have this weather in MN. I found myself comparing everything: lack of recycling, my compromised workouts due to the altitude, no one picks up their dog’s poop, the temperature changes within minutes, the over-developed shopping venues, too many fast food choices on every corner and people driving crazy. Fortunately, I had a mind-shift after a few days. I knew that I needed to stop comparing cities because I wasn’t fully living in the present moment. Well, because of that shift, I embraced Denver and found some really cool things about the city. It’s one of the reasons why it was tough to go back home.

We all experience uncomfortable situations. Lately I have been experiencing a mixed bag of uncomfortableness. Some of the following situations, no one but me can relate. For other situations, maybe some NFL folks could relate. And other experiences, I think most will relate.

• Looking for a place to live is stressful because no one wants to make a costly mistake.

• Civil unrest effects everyone.

• Living in a new city is a chance to start all over but not without challenges.

• Comparing my past with my future is counter-productive but it is hard to stay present.

• Selling a home takes a lot of work.

• Raising kids means I am in charge of their well-being.

• Letting my spouse concentrate on his job means I need to leave him alone.

• Living in a city that has a different time zone than my spouse can test the bond; even if the difference is only an hour.

• Knowing that my kids are watching my every move is a lot of pressure.

• Knowing that my mother is watching my every move sucks.

• It has been tough for me to discover that my biggest fault (aka sin) is my desire to be right.

• The Draft, an event that happens over a weekend, is a culmination of months worth of stress for everyone involved; including their families.

• Having Type-A tendencies during a time when everything is messy can be debilitating.

• Making mistakes when time is of the essence is double frustrating.

• I miss my spouse.

• Not being able to work because the need to keep all the other balls juggling, causes resentment and makes me feel trapped.

• Wanting to start a new life but having to wrap up our current life makes me feel guilty.

• Knowing that I can’t help my mom live up to her potential makes it seem hopeless for all of us.

• Wanting time to go by quickly but also wanting it to SLOW down is unsettling.

• Just because I know that things happen for a reason, I also look for silver linings and I count my blessings, it doesn’t mean that I handle stress better than anyone else.

• Sitting still long enough to figure it out what I’m doing is always a challenge.

• Knowing that I should say things but predicting that it will end in a fight is a battle that I fight within myself.

• I am horrible with directions. Learning how to read a map and figuring out where North, South, East and West are at the age of 51.5 is not easy.

• These days I wonder when I meet new people if they are reaching out because they are genuine or because they have an agenda.

• Teaching my kids that although they didn’t ask to have an NFL parent, certain expectations are placed on them regardless.

• Avoiding picking up take out food now that I finally have my kitchen back is harder than it seems.

• Looking at all the stuff we have in piles in my living room, library, dining room makes me feel so excessive - we have too much stuff - it’s over-indulgent.

The non-comfort that I’m feeling is all over the map. There are probably 20 more uncomfortable situations that I haven’t listed. The point is, being uncomfortable is part of life. I’m not telling you anything that you don’t already know. We do so much to combat feeling uncomfortable. We pay for comfort, we outsource services to be comfortable, we hide our feelings in order to keep conversations and gatherings comfortable. We ignore behaviors in order to stay in our comfort zone. However, when we finally become aware that being comfortable at all costs actually suppresses our feelings, emotions and our values, only then are we able to give up and surrender. Give yourself a thoughtful pinch and let yourself feel uncomfortable when it’s applicable. My first analogy was “the girl cheating on the boyfriend” and now it’s “the popping the zit” analogy. It’s uncomfortable but sooner rather than later, your skin will begin to heal. If we allow the uncomfortable feelings to happen, we can confidently believe in the saying, “This too shall pass.*” And that is because we will have learned to trust that it always does.

Pinches,

Barb

*by King Solomon.