Recently the hub got a bump in pay which put our family in a very comfortable situation. Since then, it’s been eye-opening to see how people react to money. Everyone has a different relationship with money. For me, I’m afraid of money. It sounds dramatic but even though money helps solve many problems, I also know that money can destroy families. Our financial advisor predicted a few scenarios that would happen when my hub started getting a new paycheck and so when all of the predictions happened within months of our new situation, I decided to pay closer attention.

Money changes people. Even the best people are effected by money because it’s hard not to change when funds are easily available to us. I’ve noticed that our value perceptions are one of the first things to change. For example, a few years ago if someone told me that it would cost $500+ to have Christmas lights installed on the outside of my house, I would say, “No thank you.” But this year - with a new house, new responsibilities, my mom is not around to help me with lights, there is no time to research the best lights, there is no time to go buy lights, I have no knowledge of how to put them on and where would I procure a ladder tall enough to reach the roof - I thought, “Yes, please.”

However, there are a couple of things about the environment that no amount of money will make me change.

• Leaving the earth in good shape (sort of like a thoughtful pinch) for the ones who will live after me is something that I have made a priority and I hope my integrity will help me carry it thru. I only want to leave behind a minimal amount of carbon footprints.

I’ll never forget the conversation that I had with my mother-in-law about Ziplock plastic bags. I was asking her to use the glass containers we have because they come with covers and we could reduce the use of plastic bags. She has always thought I was super cheap and so she informed me that I could buy zipper plastic bags at the dollar store if I was concerned about the cost. Using glass containers, for me, has nothing to do with saving money - it has everything to do with thinking of others.

Separating recyclable items from trash and throwing food in the compost is something that I have been doing for decades. Just because our family has more than enough resources and education on how to separate these items, makes it even worse to ignore everything we know and toss it all in the trash. This sends the wrong message to my kids. Instead, I’d rather teach them that with privilege comes responsibility and obligation. Nowadays we can do a lot more for others and we should.

• Another tiny but mighty step in the direction of taking care of the Earth is to use up the products before tossing the containers in the trash. With toothpaste, lotions, Beauty Counter serums, etc. I use every drop (as I wrote in my Earth Day post). Otherwise, not only does the container take up space in the landfill but the contents are probably not good for the Earth. Even though it is much easier to toss out the almost empty bottle and grab a new one, our planet is worth my time it takes to get every last drop.

There are many tasks to outsource and believe me, I have MANY helpful people that I pay to do MANY helpful things. But one thing I hope money will not change:

• I will always try to do my own laundry, thanks to a Carry Underwood interview that I saw over a decade ago. I don’t even follow Carrie Underwood at all but for some reason I caught this interview with (I think) Barbara Walters. Her reasoning was so plain and simple that I adopted the value of accomplishing that one mundane task for myself no matter where we end up in life. Carrie said that laundry is so personal (the phrase “airing out dirty laundry” came about for a reason) and even though she could afford help, she wanted at least one thing in her life to remain personal. Then she said that if she can’t stop long enough to do her own laundry then her life was too busy and she needed to do something to slow it down. This interview was a many years ago so she could very well be farming out her laundry these days. But each time I huff and puff about doing 4-5 loads on Tuesdays, there is something satisfying about staying true to myself. Just like making my bed every day. It’s important for my kids to witness that we roll up our sleeves and do our work.

There are many more values, beliefs, morals that cannot be changed by any amount of money. Because of money, we will get tested more frequently and the tests will actually be deeper than before. There will be more life lessons and conversations about the responsibility that comes along with money. But if we want to raise good people, which, at the end of the day, is all I want, then we have to hold onto the things that shouldn’t change.

And although I wanted to have the conversation with my MIL about ziplocks and food being thrown in the trash can instead of the compost when she was last out here, I decided that it was more important for her be comfortable in the kitchen. The whole convenience vs. carbon footprint conversation was not worth me making a loved one feel pressured to follow rules for my sanity. I am sure she went home thinking, “Man, my daughter-in-law is so cheap!”.

Pinches,

Barb