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If your current budget for gifts is zero dollars and the holiday season is making you panic, please chant this mantra with me - “Thoughtfulness is still possible.” People ask me, “What do I get someone who already has it all?” It’s tough to “top off” or surprise them with something they can’t already buy themselves. However, the number one thing that a person cannot buy is sweat equity. I mean, sure, we can pay people to do the labor, but we can’t buy the labor of LOVE and THOUGHTFULNESS that goes into a gift that is especially meant for us. So with COVID wiping out the economy for most, pretend the people on your holiday gift list are Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Oprah and Kylie Jenner. They all can afford anything and everything. What would you give to them if you were to going to spend the holidays together?

Before you think this post is going to have similarities to the Gift of the Magi; it is not. Selling what we have in order to go above and beyond for others is not what this is about - although it is very admirable. This is more like the story of the drummer boy in the song The Little Drummer Boy , originally named The Carol of the Drum. I’ll sum it up for you: The boy plays his drum for Him (Jesus). Pa rum pum pum pum. There will always be opportunities to use our time and/or our talents instead of our bank accounts. The holiday season, especially this year, is the best time to put a little sweat into our gift-giving.

My definition of sweat equity is best described by giving some examples of thoughtful pinches that require it. The following is in no particular order but TIME is almost always the top priority on most wish lists.

1. Time - Being there for someone to talk and listen to is an amazing gift. Undivided attention is a treasure, especially now when everyone seems to be pressed for time.

2. Photos - Nobody prints pictures anymore but you could. Or you can create a digital montage.

3. Mixed CDs - Compile songs that you love and you know your special person would enjoy too. The gift of music satisfies more than the sense of hearing. (See picture above.)

4. Calendar - If you can’t afford to hire a service like Shutterfly to make a personal calendar, use hard copies of photos to create your own. Make it extra special by filling in dates that are important for the recipient. Bonus Thoughtfulness Points: Sneak in notes for unusual anniversaries like the day they got their first tattoo, used Zoom for the first time, the day they sky dived with you etc.

5. Poem - This gift is hard for some to give and easy for others. No matter what you write, a poem is precious. TMI - a poem is the ONLY gift that I expect from my hub for my birthday, anniversary and Mother’s Day. He always delivers - I have a big box full of them!

6. Short story - If writing is your strength, write a short story. The possibilities on how to present it can be how you “wrap it” - hand written in a journal, on scroll paper, add glitter (since everything is better with glitter), use photos, thick card stock, framed, etc.

7. Home-cooked meal - It sounds very “been there, done that” but a meal is welcomed by many and for centuries it has been a “way” to someone’s heart. Bonus Thoughtfulness Points: If you grow your own veggies, use them and let them know.

8. Foot rubs - This gift is the combination of three Love Languages - Acts of Service, Physical Touch and Quality Time. Bonus Thoughtfulness Points: Add the language ofGifts (leave behind the bottle of lotion that you used for the foot rub) and Words of Affirmation (tell them how awesome they are as you rub their feet). All five Love Languages spoken with one sweat equity gift!

9. Family recipe - When my friend Diane Morales shared a family secret recipe of her Puerto Rican Egg Nog, it became a gift that kept on giving. I make it every year for my neighbors and now they have the recipe to make it for others. Bonus Thoughtfulness Points: Along with the hard copy of your recipe, provide an ingredient or two from your garden. See recipe photo below.

10. Homemade treats - Fudge, cookies, pies, cakes, egg nog, nuts or Chex mix etc. Everything tastes 100% better if made with intentional love. Find fun containers (reuse, recycle, repurpose) and fill them with the treats.

11. Spirits - My neighbor made homemade Kahlúa for Christmas gifts one year. Yum! Put together a kit to make your favorite mixed drink for some holiday cheer. Bonus Thoughtfulness Points: Include an ingredient from your garden - like celery and pickles for a Bloody Mary or lemons for a Lemon Drop.

12. Sew/knit/crochet/needlepoint - If you are capable of any of the these wonderful skills - make something you’re good at or go wild and create something brand new. Create your own Thneed. Bonus Thoughtfulness Points: Design something new and name the design in honor of that special someone. For example: The Bella Scarf or The George Knit Hat.

13. Sing a song - This is a talent that I wish I had. Singing or performing a song for someone special is a “Goosebumps” gift and every time they hear that song from that day forward, they will remember the feeling they had when they heard you sing it.

14. Make a video - This sounds simple because it is. Creating memories to be played over and over when your loved one needs some loving is a gift. This one is a “no brainer” but has endless opportunities to be so “full of heart.”

15. Send quotes - Find inspiring quotes and then compile or creatively present them. For example handwrite, paint, use photos etc. Lifting up a loved one with a quote while simultaneously sharing a little more about you as the giver, is a wonderful win-win gift.

16. Draw/paint/sculpt - More talents that I wish I had. If I had the ability to create using any of these techniques, I would be capitalizing on them! A piece of your art is piece of your heart.

17. Custom jewelry - Remember when we were kids and we made bracelets out of rubber bands and rings out of foil? If your hobby or talent is making jewelry, make something special for your someone special.

18. Athlete/Performer - Video tape or share a picture of yourself doing what you do best and present it in a creative way. Showing yourself doing something that you are good at is inspiring.

I am positive that if I logged onto Pinterest or Etsy I could find 1,000+ other sweat equity pinch ideas. My thought is this: Too much information can also cause anxiety or overwhelm-ness for those who are already stressed out. So in a nutshell, here are a couple of ways to view “sweat equity".

1. It can mean using a current talent towards creating a gift or performing a service that no one can buy because it is from you. Sure we can buy Smuckers jelly or we can receive a jar of your homemade jelly. Which jelly would taste better to us and why?

2. Or it can mean rolling up your sleeves to put in the work to make someone feel special. The talent is in the ability to focus on a task and get it done. I can’t organize an event or create a Google Doc to keep track of the event sponsors, but I can certainly do something that most don’t like to do - write the sponsors a genuine thank you note for supporting the event!

FYI, it’s NOT cliché to give or do something that you make all the time for someone you see all the time. Even if it’s the 12th ring you made for someone, let them know why/what makes this one special this time. Also, before I go, please do not get hung up on others being better than us when it comes to the end result of what we make or do. Thoughtfulness is in the process and will result in a unique, heartfelt gift. Something that is a cliché but super appropriate is, “Focus on what you can do, not what you can’t. “ You’ll find that when a talent is shared as a gift, it could rival anything that the Gates/Bezos/Oprahs/Jenners of the world could buy themselves. Gifts with sweat equity impress everyone.

Pinches,

Barb